How to live happily ever after
The million-dollar question: what do we need to know to live happier?
In the Western world, where existential needs are mostly
met, the pursuit of happiness is being pursued through various techniques and
teachings, beliefs ... But happiness may be much closer and more accessible to
us
The pursuit of happiness is nothing new to human beings.
Throughout history, it has been studied from the aspects of philosophy, art,
religion, psychology…
As an example in psychology, we can mention the
psychologist Abraham Maslow, who in the last century created the famous
hierarchy of needs. He says, in short, that one first strives to meet basic
needs such as the need for food, drink, and safety, and only then can one
embark on the path of satisfying the need for happiness and self-fulfillment.
In the Western world, where most people are provided with
basic living conditions, the question has been increasingly raised lately - how
can I be happier? Books on this subject are becoming bestsellers, and the
profession of life coaches is becoming more and more sought after. After all,
the rise of scientific research on happiness moves this phenomenon out of
abstraction, so happiness is no longer a banal term reserved for Hollywood movies,
but the subject of interest of many.
What is happiness?
Most agree that happiness is not just an unbroken series of
positive events that cause us to feel euphoric. It is mostly described as a
sense of peace that comes partly from positive feelings, but also largely from
the way we think.
All this indicates that happiness is a state of mind, more
than the pure feeling that occurs as a result of an event outside of us
How do we treat our inner critic? How will we understand
life's challenges - as punishment or as an opportunity to show our strength?
How will we choose to relate to the success of our friends? These are just some
of the many questions that determine the feelings that will arise in us, and
ultimately, determine whether we spend our lives in peace.
All this indicates that happiness is a state of mind, more
than the pure feeling that arises as a result of an event outside of us. As
such, we can work on it, here are some ways.
Exiting the comfort zone
As the word goes, the comfort zone is comfortable. However,
research shows that happier people tend to get out of it more often, risking
the initial anxiety that accompanies the unknown. Happy people seem to
understand intuitively that the point of life is not always to do what we
enjoy.
Each growth is accompanied by a phase of discomfort,
insecurity, and vulnerability (see only the awkwardness of children when they
start to grow rapidly in the pre-pubertal phase). But growth is a natural need
for all of us, and usually, the only way to do this is to get out of the
comfort zone.
Practicing gratitude
Gratitude for the positive things in life, such as good
friends, healthy children, or a partner who supports us, is one of the things
that happy people practice regularly. It's not a point to push all the bad
things that happen to us under the rug.
The point of gratitude is to realize that there is so much
good in our lives. The goal is to understand that by practicing gratitude, or
by awakening some positive things in our lives, we can evoke positive emotions
in ourselves. This way, we take control of what we think and feel, which is a
really good feeling that we all strive for.
Acceptance of "negative" emotions
People who live in peace with themselves realize that life
is not going straight. Happy people know that it is full of waves and that
emotions serve as a compass to tell if we are going in the right direction or
something we need to change. For example, if we constantly feel bad in the
presence of a friend, it might be time to rethink that relationship.
Happy people also know that negative emotions like anger
and guilt exist for a reason. Anger can allow us to stand up for ourselves, and
guilt motivates us to repair and/or change something in ourselves.
Accordingly, the famous writer Tolstoy said long ago that
happiness depends not on what happens to us, but on how we choose to look at
what is happening to us.
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